Psychotherapy and Counselling in Uxbridge | Hillingdon

 01895 467046 07943 802589

Are there things troubling you?

As a result do you feel alone, afraid, confused - or in any way stuck within yourself or in your life?

 

Smart People Seek Help

It is true that people who seek therapy may be more troubled or distressed than average but it is also true that such people often turn out to have an added dimension and potential to succeed that they didn't even know they had.  This is what motivates them to find and make use of the help they need.  They recognise the value in obtaining the help of a specialist in the same way as they might consult with any other professional, for example an architect concerning the design of their house or an accountant concerning the running of their business.

 

Therapy Can Be Enjoyable

Often, in spite of arriving at their first session in some distress, clients soon discover that working with a therapist can be a fascinating and rewarding thing to do.  The starting point is always to discover and point out the client's value and potential which they may never have seen for themselves before.

Therapy restores hope.  Your horizons will lift and you will become clearer about who you are, what you want and how to get there.  Therapy offers the promise that you will once again begin to move forward in your life.

Some of the common personal and life issues and problems are listed below. Click on any of the buttons to see how therapy can help.

Anger

This natural emotion is essential to help us defend ourselves and supply energy to channel into doing something constructive, which in turn builds our self-esteem. However, when we find ourselves out of control with our anger and at its mercy, we use it destructively, intimidating others and ourselves with it, which leads to loss of self-esteem.

Anger work includes an enjoyably practical approach where we measure incremental changes in being able to contain its destructive power and utilise it in positive and constructive ways. We get to understand and appreciate ourselves, and some people get a taste for this type of enquiry and stay on to do some deeper therapy work.

Anxiety and/or Depression

A medical model sees anxiety and depression as illnesses which simply need to be got rid of, an approach which does not always result in the change and growth necessary to achieve a contented life. Whilst medication can be useful to alleviate the worst of your symptoms, in therapy we ask: what messages are your symptoms sending to you about your life? What changes do you want/need to make? We use the symptoms as a motivating force to begin a process of enquiry and forward movement, leading to an increased mastery of yourself and your emotions and a gradual clearing of the way ahead to achieve the life you want to live.

Addictions

(Substance and Behavioural)

Addictions run deep into the personality and life history of the person and the road of recovery is challenging but the good news here is that addicts in recovery often develop a depth of understanding and awareness that enable them to create lives which are more than averagely rewarding and fulfilling. In addition to one to one therapy some people benefit from the identification and support provided by a 12-Step Fellowship (like Alcoholics Anonymous or Gamblers Anonymous) – however, this is not the case for everyone and 12-Step Fellowships do not yet exist for every type of addiction.

Many consider that certain behaviours such as gambling, spending, work, sex and even the variety of different self-harm syndromes, follow a similar course to that of substance addictions.

Money

Although a necessary commodity for us to live the way we want, money and what it can buy too often takes on a dominating significance in people’s lives. However, not only is constantly striving and strategising to create more money often ineffective, it can also lead to tension and further unhappiness. My experience as a therapist is that when therapy reduces personal, inner conflict, you relax and find yourself spontaneously making different decisions which often result in your total financial picture changing for the better. For many people therapy turns out to be a financial investment with a very good return.



Stress

We cannot get rid of all stress but we can steadily improve at distinguishing between those stressors which are helpful calls to action from within and which help us to reach our potential, develop a skill or make necessary changes in our life; and those which cause us to take on more than our share of burdens and worries and reduce our ability to cope well. Therapy works at turning around the complex set of habits which underlie unwanted stress, replacing these with the ability to maintain good balance.

Life Crises, Existential Questioning, Spiritual Issues

As human beings we automatically seek safety from danger, security in our relationships, a sense of belonging to a community and a set of personal values. But in a life time these securities come under threat – sometimes severely. On a personal level this could be through an event such as illness or loss of someone through death, or the multiple losses which result when a relationship or family breaks up; it may also occur at different stages of life, such as no longer being needed as an active parent, being made redundant or becoming acutely aware we are no longer young and can see old-age approaching. On a wider level, global or ecological issues can threaten our sense of safety and values leaving us feeling angry, defeated, and broken- hearted. We may question the very purpose and meaning of life.
Although such crises seem to contain nothing good, they are in fact a doorway and invitation to your own personal awakening. Therapy can help you to step through the doorway and foster this awakening so that you come to see the crucial role you as an individual play in the mysterious fullness of life. You discover an ability to live with contradiction and find authenticity, peace and fullness. This can be thought of as your own personal “spirituality”, regardless of whether you are an atheist or feel more comfortable within a religious tradition.

Trauma

Trauma can mean complex developmental trauma to do with neglect, abuse and/or abandonment experienced during our key developmental years; or a single event where you felt otherwise well before experiencing a strongly traumatising event. My approach is to work with how these events are impacting your life, relationships and ambitions and how we can weave them into your life journey in order to develop personal and spiritual meaning from them. Therapy supports your day-to-day life as this process unfolds and helps you develop tools to process the trauma as it surfaces.

Sexuality

You may benefit from talking with a therapist about some aspect of your sexuality. People’s experiences of themselves as sexual beings vary greatly and sexual mores have changed and continue to change greatly in a short space of time, leaving many people confused. You may feel guilty or ashamed about your past or confused about the sexual feelings you experience and unconfident about how to express them healthily for you. Whatever your relationship status, your sexual orientation or your sexual practice, the aim of therapy is to gain a positive acceptance of yourself as a sexual being in which you can express and enjoy your sexuality, stay safe and keep others safe.

Relationship Problems

When good feelings about each other have gone and the relationship has become a living hell, often couples become ready for change as they never have before. If two people have the potential and are willing to grow in themselves, couples therapy enables the relationship to be seen and experienced in a completely different way and it often proves to be the very foundation needed for each individual to grow and for the relationship to flourish again. Fortunately the world has woken up to the rich variety of relationships between human beings, so whether you are in a heterosexual or LGBT relationship, therapy can help.

Work

We would all like our work to be a channel for our creativity rather than a yoke which crushes us, but some work-places have an ethos of workaholic practices and a culture of bullying, in which we become trapped, dominated and diminished. Sometimes it is a case where you simply have to leave, and here therapy is about building your feelings of self-worth and exchanging feelings of paralysis for feelings of excitement about moving forward and getting something good for yourself. However, even in an essentially good work-place it can be the case that particular buttons in you get pressed which make your working life difficult. Here, therapy focuses on understanding these very painful triggers and then coming to reframe your work as a place where you can select and take things for yourself in order to develop your resilience and sense of personal power.

Grief, Loss, Bereavement

Loss and its accompanying grief is a normal feature which punctuates our life’s journey but sometimes losses feel so devastating that we find it hard to incorporate them into our lives and move forward. You may be experiencing grief and loss surrounding the death, or imminent death, of a loved one. Or your loss may be related to a marriage coming to an end or being made redundant or retiring from your paid employment. In all these cases therapy can help you understand and process your very difficult feelings in order to incorporate them into your own life story so that you can once again go forward optimistically with your own life, even though you will have been forever changed by your loss.

Parenthood

When our first child is born, even if it is what we have planned and longed for, we experience what has been termed the crisis of parenthood. This is a major upheaval and with it comes the realisation that nothing is ever going to be the same again. Post-natal depression is common; in some cases this may be a hormonal event, but in others can be a symptom of difficulty adjusting to the all-consuming role of motherhood and feeling overwhelmed by new responsibilities.
Other areas where it is common for people to seek help around parenthood include step-parenting, infertility, biological clock running out, separating from our children as they grow up, the demands of loving and living with children with disabilities.

Counselling and Therapy Uxbridge | Hillingdon

Contact me in confidence for a no-obligation discussion to find out how therapy could help you.

Email david@davidnewns.co.uk

Telephone 01895 467046   Mobile 07943 802589